reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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