get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
