Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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