Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I am available for nakedness
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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