I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
