which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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