I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
