he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
