In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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