He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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