i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
