Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
