ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
As shirtless as possible
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
