I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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