I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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