roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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