so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
