the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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