Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
