think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
In America we eat man semen.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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