He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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