Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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