i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
