Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
