i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
