I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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