my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
