I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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