But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
