my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
