It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
