This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
