he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
