Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
