Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
