ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
