i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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