he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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