I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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