New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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