Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I need a burrito and a hug.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
