please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
