Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
