if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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