So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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