Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
