fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
