Porn is love you can see.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
