Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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