btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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