Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
