Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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