I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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