question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
